"We're in a bit of a mess, aren't we, Captain. And do you know what I do when I get into a bit of a mess? I go and have a chat, preferably with a nun." Thus ex-secret agent Wighe (pronounced Why) to ex-bomber pilot Captain Dasher who has just shot himself in his prosthetic foot. They are are 23,000 feet and Wighe is presently to exercise one of his many skills to bring the Corncrake and its precious cargo of ex-patriate teachers down to a crash landing on the idyllic mid-Atlantic holiday island of Elysium. Luckily, thinks Wighe, as the horse-drawn airport fire brigade drench him in foam, his ex-boss is still in London, safely cocooned in a state of catatonic schizophrenia. But then the Director of D Bureau emerges from the wreckage, brushing aircraft parts off his long johns and breathing his usual fire and slaughter in Wighe's direction. Presently a bonding rugby football match between a team of education administrators and disaffected parents is to culminate in an exchange of small arms fire, smoke bombs and stun grenades before the escape of the survivors in a C130 Hercules homeward bound for England.
Published: 1 November 2011
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